a million hugz and thumbnail sketchesI know I've said my apologies ad nauseum to my friends for being such a flake. But there are also people who have commented on my work, that I've neglected, unintentionally over the last few years. Not for any reason but a lack of time. I usually spend my time on DA rapidly perusing the deviations list in my message area, intending to write a brief but meaningful comment on each one. Instead I usually end up sidetracked with research projects. The nature of these projects I will do my best to reveal soon. I will give a little glimpse by journals end of the projects I am involved in. Then perhaps my apologies might make more sense.
In the meantime I wish to send out a million hugz to everyone who still thinks kindly of me after all my flaky tendencies. I believe it shows a true commitment to our friendship and I do not take that lightly. Thank you. I endeavor to return in kind, the benefit of such a supportive relationship. I believe in each and every one of you.
Thumbnail sketches:
I know I've whined incessantly to anyone who would listen, that 42 days in Japan was not enough! I got drunk on the place and am in the middle of the reality hangover. It was 42 days of thumbnail sketches and a book full of blank paper. the only marks made in my journal after the first three days were quickly scrawled email addresses, and attempts at communicating concepts. The visual thing works when my lack of vocabulary becomes an impedence. I also made little shopping lists of people's interests and observances about the things they generally favor to help me in designing gifts to send. I met so many really nice people, who went far out of their way to help me in one respect or another.
Truth be told though, I know it comes off as though I am a spoiled, self-centered brat. 42 days!! That's way more "vacation" than some people get in their entire lifetime. I went to places some people who live in Japan will probably never get to visit. I can gripe all I want about how much I wished I could've stayed longer in each spot, to savor the nuance of each new discovery. I learned a lot about Japan, and myself in those few weeks, and even so I wanted more. Japan is a beautiful country, and it has a richness in the culture that permeates even the contemporary settings. I think it's probably something that you would find in any of the older cultures. Places with a history longer than 200 plus years ( I know there are cultures that endured in America before it became "colonized" but sadly these cultures are not as evident due to the assimilative properties of modern American culture and a society born of convenience. It's still there, but it's buried pretty deeply and not as accessible as I found Old Japan to be.) It was everything and nothing that I had envisioned it to be. I went with no expectations per se, but you know you can't escape some of the preconceptions that infiltrate the common perception. I will write some of my "memoirs" (post partum) in the descriptions to the "snapshots" I will be posting in my scraps ( I will, soon, I promise, really! pronto. honto.) but I wanted to say, that I appreciated each and every day. And I appreciate where I am now even more, as a result of this journey. So let me explain where I am right now.
I had put my name into a lottery to be included for a project which, once completed will greatly benefit the artist community in Seattle. It is the rennovation of the old Rainier brewery. 3 artist co-ops are turning 3 of the buildings into artists living/work spaces. The end result will include recording studios occupied byJambox, a local recording company. An onsite Gallery and a host of other amenities that should bring a strong cohesive element to Seattle's art inclined. When I put my name in the lottery, I had no idea how I would finance this venture, but I have faith that life never hands you something that it doesn't provide a solution for. Please remember, every crisis IS an opportunity, to learn if nothing else. I felt that if it happened, then somehow I would find the way to fund it. Upon my return from Japan I was greeted with the news that I had indeed been picked in the lottery. That I had a studio as soon as the developers gave us the 30 days notice then we had 2 months to complete build-out and get everything up to code to acquire a certificate of occupancy. This sudden induction into a group environment was an incredible learning experience for me. The dynamic is incredible, and I think it teaches you to organize and prioritize your energy in an entirely different sort of focus. I met some really incredible people, and suddenly I was very glad to be a part of this project, even though I had no idea how I could provide for it. Suddenly a solution presented itself, and it seemed things were progressing full speed ahead. I began to research in earnest and ALL aspects of my personal life got put on hold. And that's when things began to unravel. Balance, people, balance. That is the key to staying at an even flow. My mother had to go in for an operation, and it meant that I would need to be there for her. I am one of the few people she has available whose schedule is flexible enough to accomodate her transportation needs. And suddenly the funding ran into snags. Things which had been "pending" were stopped dead by bureaucracy. The improbable became impossible. Still I was determined. I got VERY serious about finding a solution. My determination was fierce, and it brought me some new avenues to explore for future development. But in the end, it was apparent, that as creative as my solutions were, they did not meet the requirements for sustaining the minimum commitment to my group. I consulted the I Ching, because I am the kind of person who will continue to the point of absurd unless told differently. I dont know if I am stubborn, or just dim witted..probably both. In any case, the creeping feeling was that as much as I wanted to continue this, it was not the honorable thing to do. If I continued, any problems caused by my error in judgement would not only affect me, but every person in my group, and to some degree the entire project. The I Ching basically said to "go with the flow" and let things pass as they should. I took the lesson in that. I understood that even though I did not achieve my goal. I had acquired a deeper understanding of my needs and my mission in general. I also got a better feeling for handling the interpretation of my vision responsibly. Sometimes we have to retreat to get a view of the entire field. At least this is my perception to this point. I still need a studio, desperately, but it's not so desperate as to thwart my ability to create as yet. The next part of my mission is being set into motion. I am seeking some gallery showings, and I am organizing various lines of distrbution for my other endeavors. what other endeavors? ah..this is the part I alluded to at the beginning of this rather long-winded entry.
my projects:
Of course, my paintings which most of you know about. I still do these. I cant imagine stopping any time soon, but then who knows? I recently completed a mask which will be featured in a showing for the Puget Sound Blood Center. Their "Faces for Life" display will be in the Bellevue Square in February. The masks will be sold at auction and on their website. I will give more information when I post pictures of the finished mask later.
Some of you might know (especially if you visited my horrible excuse for a site) that I compose music too. I recently had one of my tunes used in a movie. Granted it was a film school project and it will probably not be seen in any great distribution. I did not make any money on the deal, since I lent it to a friend, but it was fun to have it featured in the ending credits. More music news to come..keep reading!
Speaking of my horrible excuse for a site. I am currently shopping for a host, since I did manage to generate a little surplus as a result of my frantic attempts to provide for my "almost loft" As we speak I am familiarizing myself anew with Dreamweaver, et al things Macromedia to make your angstforless.com viewing experience more pleasureable, or at least more user friendly. (thank god if I never see that horrible template again!)
I am making a flash short...and composing the music for it..but this is way..way..in the worx. so right now let's just put this under concepts. I still need to get the hang of coding.
I have been writing again! Yeah, I know I had a dry spell, well not really, but I just wasn't pushing out every hastily scrawled stream of conciousness into the collective ether. No, I haven't been hoarding them either. I just refrained from spelling everything out. They have been simmering in little vats of encrypted squigglys, waiting to be set to a rhythm. but not only pomes (as in the "prose to follow" pieces for the likes of ice water blanket..etc) I have been working on something of a larger magnitude. in fact, it is something which is kind of boggling to me in the size of its conception and the amount of research involved. WHAT?
Ah..so glad you asked. I am working on a Graphic Novel. ( I hear some of you snicker, "who isn't working on a graphic novel on DA!") Okay, fair enough. I'm no PaulFresh by any stretch, so please dont try to "draw"(ha ha art pun!) any comparisons..even though I would be greatly flattered to be listed in the same sentence.
My graphic novel is called Placebo 99. It is about a girl with schizophrenia. I hope to use the story as a medium for information about this much misunderstood illness. Details..may follow, but I will need to finish putting some of the legal stuff together. I want to share it, but I also know that it is too important to just blow it on a half-assed concept or to have a fragment sensationalized into someone else's half guessed concept story. I will say this. I am composing a soundtrack to be distributed with the novel. At the beginning of each chapter I will offer facts about schizophrenia and related illnesses. I am working with several non-profit groups to compile information and hosting for a site linked to this project which will feature links to info, sources, and support groups. The novel will be done in the manga style, with my own character designs, naturally. I am currently teaching myself Kanji, Hiragana and Katakana so that I can render two versions. One in English and one in Nihongo.
If anyone else needs further linguistic translations, please contact me so I get a good idea of the scope of demographic. I am sincere about making this a possible "open source" type project because I feel that it is too important to limit to my inadequacies to translate. Hopefully I can offer a better sample of what this story will entail soon.
I have several T-shirt and other various product designs waiting to be uploaded to my Cafepress account, but the REALLY cool stuff will have to wait for my site to be up. I'm not going to give everything away yet, but I have some really fun designs and projects and Cafepress wont even come close to the scope I want to offer. I will also be featuring DIY projects so if you dont feel like buying my junk, you can make your own..because honestly, that's where the real fun comes in.
okay..if you haven't gone cross-eyed yet..get up and move away from your computer for a little bit. Stretch and get something to drink. I'll try to be back online soon and fill in some of the gaps, upload some more pictures, and woah, even return comments. forgive me? thank you! arigato! merci!
gracias! danke! ca'm O'n! xie xie! Kiitii!--ciao!
