that the hate which taints the beauty of this world should suddenly evolve into a flower of sweetness. that people would stop feasting on the wasteful poisons of greed and consumerism. we are not here to dupe our fellow human being, the only one who gets fooled by that is the one who will later pay karma with interest. make a difference in the world today. give only love and leave sadness and despair for hollywood. I was going to write some vaguely mathematical formula..but hell I thought I'd get all mushy and philosophical instead.

wow. it's already 2006. 2005 was a blur, a strange red and yellow blur. I vaguely remember New Years 2005 as something I was unsure of, but it seems like it all turned out okay for me. I did not spontaneuosly combust and I actually accomplished something I have wanted to do my whole life.... no it wasn't updating my journal..though it seems like that at times. almost herculean. to sit and paste words together. still I'm not gonna write a book..not here at least. I just wanted to emerge from my creative cocoon long enough to wish all my friends..and potential friends a happy new year. and since I really cant provide too much information about Placebo 99 which seems to be eating up my waking and sleeping time with little regard, I thought I would share some of my music with you. I write music when I want to uncramp my brain from formulating plot curves..hah! as if I even know what that means! See I dont "know" how to write, to draw, paint, write music. I truly dont. It's not some lie or semantic play on a concept. I honestly create by the seat of my pants. I "feel", or "intuit" the process at hand and let the medium take over. Often my dreams influence the process, but not always..sometimes it is a random bit of energy that just floats over and guides my hand. so before this gets any longer.

details: composed and created on my computer. no instruments. using Fruity Loops and Acid Pro. I did create some rhythm samples from vlf modulations of lightning on Jupiter, Saturn's rotation..stuff like that. It sounds like static, but when you chop it up it can be a snare..or whatever. Marble is a tragic character in
Placebo 99 but this concept bit was fitted with a new rhythm loop this morning. It sounds more upbeat than I had originally conceived, but meh. I guess it'll work for now. "Topper Riot" is a bit I wrote while thinking about string theory and particle migration and how it might affect world events ( ie the riots in france at the time) I initially imagined a reiteration of a sequence that changes as it migrates and perhaps some of the signal gets deflected into various dimensional phenomenon..WHA?!!..it's okay.. I dont even understand most of the time..I just let my fingers hit the keys at random, but i love making my computer think it's an electric guitar heh heh. Pop Damage is me making fun of myself. I tend to write dramatic little bits..and I worry sometimes that I might start sounding cheesy. I might put a rhythm to it one day if I get enough happy type feedback..but for now..it was a way to resolve my need to compose something that went too far. "always my friend" I tried to send to all my friends before I left for Japan..but dial-up had other ideas..and I ran out of time. so please feel free to try it now. it's a little new-agey I'm told..meh. I wrote it for all of my friends who have been so patient with me..but I composed it as a homage to life who has been my friend since before I was born and whom I love very much. so without further harrassment please feel free to download. I will not be placing most of these in my other music sites..they are exclusive to this journal entry. I might post more as an update later..but for now:

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one of these days I'll actually learn to write music and compose properly. thanks to everyone who actually sits down to listen to my crudely fashioned caveman style. I truly appreciate it. Happy New Year my friends. I hope it is a good one for us all! ®